I'm on a High!

After four years and a quarter of shared hardwork and joy, I finally hold a degree. And, not only a degree-holder but a board passer. The next logical thing to do is have a job. But, somewhere deep down, I have plenty of desires - desires that will hinder me to reach a step ahead to the corporate ladder. I have listed some of these in my mind and I am shocked that I can barely remember the first ones I thought of. I decided to put them on publish mode. I want to pursure writing. Writing short stories. Novel. And the likes. I want to play guitar better. I want to learn how to drive and have a license. I want to have lessons for voice. I want to be a singer, whether pro or just in church. I just want to sing what's in my heart. I want to make my own music. I want to be fit. I want to engage in sports. I want to learn muay thai or capoeira. I want to learn to play the piano. I want to be an architect. I want to teach at MIT. I want to travel. I want to capture more scenes and turn int...

This blog post is not actually for everyone to see or for everybody to know. This is intended for one person whom I think would need this either way. I believe that you, reading this would be far from reality. However, if you ever had the chance to reach me through this, this must be my message. And, I really had no plans on saying these to you via SMS, phone call or personal conversation. I am sorry. Thank you. I know those are just petty words you would have heard from me. But, I think I have said more than necessary during that period. I am not sure though if we are over. All I know is I am left hanging. But, it is the next logical thing from what happened. I can't promise that I won't still think of you or try to communicate with you. I know one of these days I will lose control and send a damn message. Please bear with me. I know this has just been so easy for you. But, this means a lot to me. I know I keep on coming back to you after every misunderstanding or breakup. But...

Everything has a purpose. I suppose. And, this week, I had one of the most "mature" decisions I have ever made. I am not sure if disclosing every detail would work, but it's early morning and blogging is the least thing a normal student would do. o_O I am now on out of my comfort zone. Out of all the things I used to live and enjoy with. Turning into this shift is not really difficult. If you just look on the things that I might learn with this, I am encouraged to stick on this decision. However, keeping that look towards your aim is the difficult stuff. I am confined in a 19-sq m room. The amenities are okay though I feel that I am stripped with all my luxuries. I am really uneasy on telling all the details. But, there's no turning back. TIME CHECK: 1:57 AM Still got a class tomorrow at 7:30 AM. Got to have sleep. Got to plan. Got to learn the things I need for reality.Time Check. It's never too late.

EM: It has been a very long time since we talk, huh? ME: Yep. Been busy with school stuffs and other responsibilities. EM: So, I just want to talk about the latest development on your novel. ME: Oh? What novel? I have been working with two novels. EM: Both? :) ME: ADTW, Well, I am on the 11th chapter. But, the plot isn't progressing well. I guess, I don't have the "momentum" writing it. EM: How sad! I am a fan of Prince and Abby. ME: Maybe, their story is like most of our stories that does not meant to a happily ever after ending. EM: Aww. There have been reports that most of your works are not of that type. Why? Do you have any experience with that? ME: It was not my intention to have such endings. I believe that "happily-ever-endings" exist only on imagination and only compromise can make it happen. EM: Sad but true. But, is the story of P and A somewhat same as yours? ME: I don't know. When I create a character, I impart some part of me to them to mak...

bahala na ang mga daliri at utak ko sa pagsabay sa isa't isa. hindi ko alam kung ano ang balak nilang ipamalas sa mundo. hindi ko alam. hindi ko rin alam kung paano sila ipadarama. wait. ayoko ng rhyming. kasi napuputol ako sa pagtatype at hindi ko nasasabayan ang takbo ng utak ko pag ganoon. *hang* ano ba ang nais kong ipabatid? hindi ko alam. marahil masyadong malalim ang aking nararamdaman. napakalalim na kahit ako hindi ko maintindihan. o masyado lang personal di ko kayang sabihin sa ibang nakikibasa lang. *hang* life is not fair. siguro. kasi kung fair lahat masaya. or lahat malungkot. pero bakit? pano? hindi ko alam. ayoko nong topic. *hang* anggulo ng utak ko. i have been contemplating for days and i have not found the answers to my questions. i have not found the solutions to my problems. ultimately, i do not know what will happen tomorrow. it's never a promise. *hang* i have to live by what i want and what i need. i have been wanting so much more than i need. more than...

A brighter tomorrow. When I let go of the past When I let go of all the things that hurt me so much When everything went wrong When everything seemed it wasn't right I fall I cry I surrender I pray People come Most of them go Some just stay for a moment But, few only stay for a lifetime Lots of questions But not too many answers Circumstances that pull you down It takes one person to lift you up A brighter tomorrow Is not a promise It is more of a hope Trust and Faith.

May mga taong masuwerte. May mga taong malas. At may mga taong sadyang nakatakda. Nakatakdang masaktan. Nakatakdang magmahal. Sa unang pagkakataon. Hanggang sa pinakahuli.   “Wala pa ba si Buds?”, tanong ni Marc. Medyo aburido. Pero kalmado pa rin naman. Habang nasa harap ng inventory, tumitingin siya sa mga customers. Merong tatlong customers doon. Hindi sila magkakakilala. Magkakalayo ng upuan.   “Wala pa po, sir.”, sagot ng isang tauhan niya. “Konti pa lang naman po ang customers, kaya ko pa naman.”   Hindi na sumagot si Marc. Alam naman niya na kaunti lang ang customers. At hindi pa naman inaasahan na dadami ng sobra ang customers sa ganoong oras.   Matapos ang ilang minuto dumating na ang mga kaibigan ni Marc. Dalawang lalaki. Medium built. Isang moreno. Isang mestiso. Parehas namang may itsura. Pero iba si Marc na iba na ang tindig. Tipong matured na. At alam na ang pasikot-sikot ng buhay.   “Oh, pare! Pasensya na di ako pwede kagab...

Habang nagmamasid sa tapat ng faculty kahapon... Student 1: Kuya, dyan ba yung essay writing contest? Ako: Di ko alam e. Bakit? Tanong niyo kaya sa guard. Student 1: Hindi po nila alam e. Akala namin dyan yung klase niyo. Ako: Ahh. Hindi. May meeting lang ako sa CE. Student 1 and 2: Ahh (bulungan sila. HAHA) Ako: Anong year na ba kayo? Student 2: (sumenyas ng 1) Ako: Ah. Student 2: Anong year na po ba kayo? Ako: 4th year na ko. Student 1: Akala ko 2nd year palang kayo. BENTA!

Para sa iyo. Para sa akin. Para sa lahat. Para sa lahat ng nagmahal. Para sa lahat ng nagmamahal. Para sa lahat ng napagod nang magmahal. Para sa wagas na nagmamahalan. Para sa wakas na ang pag-iibigan. Para sa lahat ng nasaktan. Para sa lahat na umaasa. Para sa lahat na umaasa na magkabalikan. Para sa lahat na umaasa na totoo ang pag-ibig. Para sa lahat ng tawa. Para sa lahat ng luha. Para sa lahat ng ligaya. Para sa bawat sandali. Para sa bawat pighati. Para sa bawat pagkakamali. Para sa iyo. Ang lahat ng ito. Alam ko. Hindi mo malalaman. Hindi ko rin sasabihin. Walang makakaalam. Walang makakaramdam. Wala. Para sa akin. Ang lahat. Itatago ko. Hindi mo malalaman. Hindi ko ipapadama. Wala kang mararamdaman. Wala kang malalaman. Wala. Para sa lahat. Sana. Wag nang tumulad. Hindi niya malalaman. Hindi niya maririnig. Walang mangyayari. Walang mapapala. Wala. Para sa lahat. Para sa akin. Para sa iyo. Magmahal. Masaktan. Magmahal muli.