I'm on a High!

(Note: matagal na bago ako nakagawa ng isang matinong akda. I never asked for something like this. Though I have not started anything yet. I know this will be something good. I hope so.) Gusto kita. Gusto kitang makasama. Gusto kitang makita. Gusto kitang makita araw-araw. Gusto kitang makita araw-araw o kahit bawat segundo. Gusto kitang makasama habang buhay. Gusto kita. Gusto kita kahit di ko na alam kung tama. Gusto kita kahit sinasabi ng isip ko na hindi. Gusto kita kahit alam kong hindi pwede. Gusto kita kahit ayaw ng mundo. Gusto kita kasi hindi ko kayang wala ka. Gusto kita. Gusto kita kasi hindi ko alam. Gusto kita kasi 'yon ang para sakin ay tama. Gusto kita kasi hindi ko talaga alam. Gusto kita kahit di ko na malaman ang dahilan. Gusto kita. Gusto kita kasi nagiging corny ako pag kasama kita. Gusto kita kasi higit pa sa dictionary ang dating mo sa buhay ko. Gusto kita kasi higit ka pa sa Crayola sa pagkulay ng aking mundo. Gusto kita kasi talo mo...

There are things that I couldn't contain. There are lots of things that I can't complain. But, there are things that I could do to ease the pain. These are not easy. But, they are simple. There are lots of hiatuses before I start each sentence. It's not easy to let them out. I have been preoccupied by the same things. They just get bigger and harder as I try to neglect their existences. I can fake every smile and laugh. I can force myself to be as good as I could ever be. I can learn to let things pass. I can do things. But, out of my will, I feel the burden of turning the stones into something soft. I just can't rest my head on a stone and think it is the softest pillow ever. I can lie to my mind for a while. But, my heart knows what is not. Lately, I have been through the best and worst of everything . It was more than a speedboat or even a jetplane. I was like hanging on a cliff, in a good way. I'm at the verge of everything. Life is not really it when ...