emo = o me

It is just something I felt. Unknown. Strange. Unusual. Name it. I can't hardly describe what I am feeling right now. Weird.

Maybe it was because of the weather. Cold. Gloomy. Whatever. I would like to describe the set-up. Sitting in my bed. In my room. Lights on. Fan's on. Notebook's on. TV's on. Tuned to AI. Got earphones on my ear. Head lying on the metal. Knees stretched. Protected by the cloth from coldness. Eyes staring at Structural and Hydraulics books. BEFORE I DECIDED TO LET MY FINGERS DO THE TALKING.

Bless the Broken Road's my background. I got emotional. Actually, still I am. I really have NO IDEA why this is happening. Love? I don't think so. Money? Definitely no, either! Family? Not a problem now. Careerwise? Maybe. Or is it about the first thing poofed on my mind [and fingers]? Possibly, both?

Repeat One. Shuffle's ON. Weird combination. But, it's the way I play my songs. Maybe, I can "psychoanalyze" myself. MAYBE, I am playing my life too safe. Too safe like I want my life to be like what's on my mind. But, I keep myself ready for surprises. I don't know what's next. However, I want me to say when it is the END.

Love is not actually a problem. Especially, when there is none. I won't cross that line. I know I am being safe. Not fighting for her. Not anything. Nothing! In brief and the simplest word I got. I guess it is a lesson [to be] learned (remove 'ed').

Career? I bet this is the reason for everything. I know I like to be a Civil Engineer. [In reality, it is just this last two years when I felt like leading to the right way.] I really do. It can give me opportunites to be successful. To live the way I want. To give the things my parents cannot give me. But, I am just confused. Confused! I really want to write. WRITING is my passion. I can see myself writing novels - not just about love, sci-fi, mystery and whatever I like. I can make a world apart from mine, from yours and from ours. I can make the world seems beautiful even though it is not. I can make myself believe it is okay, when it is not. I can make someone happy. I can make her fall in love without knowing she is that character.

Apparently, it is not just CE and my writing stuff that keep my world confusing. I really love music. And, I hope it also loves me back. It is not just family and relatives told me I was good. My churchmates do. At least, some of them. Singing, perhaps. It is my dream. But, how do I get it? How?

I can't choose one. Nor two. I can't see my life without one of them. Dreams. Hopes. What will the future bring is a surprise. No one knows. God's plan will prevail. I won't stop. Though, I am still confused, I will just let this be unto HIM.

Comments

  1. Micaella DatoJanuary 13, 2010 at 7:55 AM

    Yep! Hurray AI's back :)

    btw, (mangingialam lang ng walang kwentang kuro-kuro ko haha) Why not be a novelist/engineer/singer/music writer. Talentadong bata ka naman eh haha :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. John Paul CarreonJanuary 13, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    hahaha. sana kung pwede. pero mukhang kailangang may i-prioritize ako. haha

    talentadong bata? hahahaha nice nice. haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. Micaella DatoJanuary 14, 2010 at 8:40 AM

    E di whichever makes your heart jumps out of joy the most :) Pero matagal pa naman ang aabutin mo ng career mo, no hurries :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Em talks to Me once again!!!

Hey, there! I miss this page. I really miss typing English words in quite proper grammar. So what about the next post? Now, I still don't know. I will let my fingers to the thinking and let us hear the two people conversing... (silence please..) EM: Are you done with the things you were supposed to do? ME: Ahemmm. Are you making fun with me or just fooling around? Ha! Ha! Ha! Of course, I am not! EM: So what do you do this weekend? ME: Let me share you this. Friday afternoon, after my class, I went home and opened my notebook. Not the notebook with notes and stuffs like that. It's my laptop. I visited my facebook, www.facebook.com. I also fed my dog, nap in superpets! On the evening, I typed a little and improved my multiply!!! www.jeypz05.multiply.com. On Saturday morning, I visited my FB and multiply. After I took my lunch, I rushed finishing my homework in DE. After class, I went to GGCF, our church, and practiced for the service's praise and worship part. On the eve...
Read more

Finding its Way (UnOfficially Yours n-day Challenge)

The world is constantly changing. Even love has its fair share of adaptation to its environment. It transcends from the traditional Maria Clara – Crisostomo Ibarra type of dating to the modern and liberal touch of Friends-With-Benefits scenarios. The movie, UnOfficially Yours, starring John Lloyd Cruz and Angel Locsin as Mackie Galvez and Princess Bricenio, respectively attempted to depict this unusual set-up for most of us.  These types of relationships are often seen on Hollywood movies but not for Filipinos, which tried to stick to the usual love-marriage-sex sequence. If not, the last part was obscure. (Forgive me for I will not dwell on the movie but on the structure of such relationships and its repercussions.) Relationships with no label and expectations are becoming a trend for some people. And, by the word some, I mean indefinite. There have been no clear demographics about this. There might be a study but the depth of the analysis may be equivocal as the depth of th...
Read more

ABT

A brighter tomorrow. When I let go of the past When I let go of all the things that hurt me so much When everything went wrong When everything seemed it wasn't right I fall I cry I surrender I pray People come Most of them go Some just stay for a moment But, few only stay for a lifetime Lots of questions But not too many answers Circumstances that pull you down It takes one person to lift you up A brighter tomorrow Is not a promise It is more of a hope Trust and Faith.
Read more