Finding its Way (UnOfficially Yours n-day Challenge)

The world is constantly changing. Even love has its fair share of adaptation to its environment. It transcends from the traditional Maria Clara – Crisostomo Ibarra type of dating to the modern and liberal touch of Friends-With-Benefits scenarios.

The movie, UnOfficially Yours, starring John Lloyd Cruz and Angel Locsin as Mackie Galvez and Princess Bricenio, respectively attempted to depict this unusual set-up for most of us.  These types of relationships are often seen on Hollywood movies but not for Filipinos, which tried to stick to the usual love-marriage-sex sequence. If not, the last part was obscure.

(Forgive me for I will not dwell on the movie but on the structure of such relationships and its repercussions.)

Relationships with no label and expectations are becoming a trend for some people. And, by the word some, I mean indefinite. There have been no clear demographics about this. There might be a study but the depth of the analysis may be equivocal as the depth of the sea is not constant. The reason why people resort to this is difficult to explain.

As portrayed by the movie, an individual tends to enjoy the freedom of having everything he wanted without the emotional attachments to anyone because of a tragic past that builds fear in one’s heart to fall in love again and be hurt over and over.

Nobody could control how a person will react to such misfortune. One could develop a hard heart – a cautious one. Falling in love only exists on books and movies. But, one could also let go and let another person love him again, be hurt and love, again and again until the right person comes.

What if these two people meet and fall in love – Ces with the hard heart and Mackie with the eager one? Will Mackie just give up on Ces or will Ces finally open her heart to Mackie?

They are lucky enough to find a chance to love someone who reciprocates it. (Find out on the movie how things develop.) They are very lucky for most people in these relationships, when somebody feels attached, the other opts to leave him behind.

Physical attraction is the foundation of their “relationship.” Love is never part of the structure, however, in some cases, it may be achievable. Sex drives this relationship to get longer. When somebody finds someone hotter or more desirable, it indicates the end of the relationship that never happened at all.

Clearing myself, I am never an advocate of this. Even putting that three letter word here is against my will. But, I know it is needed. And, it comprises most of what happened.

Going back to the LMS sequence, the last part is the easiest to explain. But, the second is easier than the first. Marriage should be the product of love. However, love is difficult to find. Love may be a fruit of friendship or the gift of fate.

Happy endings are unusual for relationships without attachments. As said on the previous paragraph, when love sets in, it signals the denouement of their burgeoning stories. But, why people turn to this kind of set-up? What do they get from it?

The most obvious is the needs they have to suffice. Apart from that, I couldn’t think of anything substantial. Maybe, it could be the freedom from the attachment that sometimes may be toxic and compelling. Or it could be the independence to be with anyone you wanted when you wanted.

I will not be able to answer this until I am on the situation, which I pray to God that it will never going to happen. But of course, there are things they are missing.

I guess, they lost their one shot in finding love. From the movie, Ces’ mother said how could you find your true love when you surrender every time you get hurt. Finding true love involves a series of events and pain is inevitable. But, at the end of each pain, you learn and you get a step closer to your match.

In my treacherous journey towards finding love, I have never found the right words to describe it. It is a very complex feeling that involves giving and taking simultaneously and of equal amounts, sacrificing for and understanding the person you entrust this feeling.

Defining or describing love is not the game. It is unraveling the mysteries of love. It may not be as easy as it seems. But, with the help of God and the right wisdom, true love will find its way.